


Dancing with him

by AbschaumNo1



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dancing, Dreams, M/M, Pre-Quest, Sibling Incest, you guys don't want to know about the amount of club music I listened to while writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbschaumNo1/pseuds/AbschaumNo1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He dreamt of shared dances and going further than they should, but he never dared to believe that anything might happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing with him

**Author's Note:**

> Subtitle(more like working title): "Incestous Dwarf Slash" (which I only put here because of Maria...)
> 
> Yeah, so I had this picture of Kili and Fili in a club in my head and started writing and this kinda happened...  
> And a lot of thanks go to [lucee](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lucee/profile) for the great work she did as a beta!

Dazzling light and thumping beats, moving bodies and too much to drink; that was the world of his weekends. He would spend his nights out, dancing and drinking, but more often waking up in his own bed than in someone else's.

His brother would be with him, if he was in town; all charming smiles and blond gorgeousness. He was ever the more beautiful one, the one all the girls seemed to want; always the only one for him when he was in the room. Sometimes, when he was drunk, he would pull his brother onto the dance floor. The other would laugh and they would dance and he would forget everything around them and for once the distance between them, every bond that kept them from each other, would disappear.

He cherished these fleeting moments, these rare shared dances, and he would never tell his brother. He would never tell him that they were all he lived for, because they were the moments when he could _forget_ ; forget that they were brothers; forget that they could never be together in the way he _wanted_ ; forget that deep inside he hated himself for it; forget that he knew that he could never act upon it, because he could never stain the perfection of his brother with his affections that went so much further than they should. Because he _wanted_ ; he wanted with all his heart, with his whole _being_. He had grown up loving his brother. It had always been the two of them, inseparable. For him it had always been clear that there couldn't be anyone else. Because no one understood him like his brother did.

When he had realised that the mere prospect of being together, of living side by side as brothers, wasn't enough for him, he had been disgusted. He knew he needed his brother, but he also knew that he couldn't do that to him. He couldn't possibly expect him to feel the same. It just wasn't _right_. His brother was perfection; his brother was like gold; his brother was a treasure to hoard, but he could never be _his_. Not like that. He may have _desired_ ; desired to kiss those lips; desired to bury his fingers in that golden hair; desired to push up that t-shirt, to feel the muscles of his stomach beneath his fingers; desired to grab that arse through the perfectly fitting jeans; desired to remove those jeans, to feel that arse bare beneath his fingers; but he knew he could never act on those desires. He could imagine it, in dark dreams he didn't want to think about too much, but nothing more.

And so he forgot when he danced with his brother. He concentrated on the proximity between them, on the rhythm of the music driving them, on his brother's happy grin. That was his world in those moments, just that.

Later they would stumble home together, intoxicated by music and alcohol, and laughing. They would stumble into the flat they shared and lean against each other, catching their breaths, and then they would share a last silly giggle or laugh or whatever seemed appropriate and would tumble into their respective beds. And he would dream of dances shared with his brother.

The memories of these dances would allow him to get through his weeks; through the times when his brother wasn't at home; through seemingly endless lectures at university and through sleepless nights. Whenever he needed it he would recall them and when he fell asleep he would dream on. He would dare to take that last step and he would close the distance between them. He would put his hands on his brother's waist and pull him as close as it was comfortable; until they breathed the same air and almost stepped onto each other's feet. He would pull him close and dance with him like he would with one of his flirts (maybe closer, but it wasn't all too different).

In his dreams they would leave the club arm in arm and they would walk close and accidentally (not accidentally) bump into each other on their way home. Sometimes in his dreams they kissed in dark side streets. Sometimes they would just sneak looks at each other. Sooner or later they would reach their apartment and as soon as the door closed behind them there would be no more hesitation. He would have his brother pressed against the wall (sometimes the door), nothing but their clothes between them; lips pressed against lips. In his dreams this first kiss in their apartment would never be gentle. It would be passionate, devouring and desiring; it would be heated, open-mouthed and just the first desperate kiss of many. In his dreams he would do all the things he desired. He would kiss his brother and brush his fingers through golden hair; he would let his fingers ghost over bare skin under his t-shirt; he would feel his arse through his jeans and he would remove clothes as if his life depended on seeing his brother naked before him. He would lose his own soon enough and they would finally fall into a bed (he never cared about whom it belonged to; it wasn't important, a bed was a bed).

He preferred not to think about how detailed these dreams were; preferred not to think about them at all, because seeing his brother like this, beneath him, shouldn't be something he dreamt of. It shouldn't even be something he spent a fleeting thought for. And he knew that there would be no stopping if he ever started. But dreaming, dreaming was all he had; was all he _allowed_ himself to have, and he would lock those dreams away in a corner of his mind that he didn't dare to look at unless he was sure that he was alone.

He never dreamt about waking up; he never dared to. Because even in his dreams he was sure that waking up would go too far; that it would shatter everything; waking up would mean reality catching up to him. Dreaming of waking up would mean to face the reaction he was so sure he would get if anything like this ever happened between them. He didn't want that in his dreams. If he was only able to act on his desires when he was sleeping, he didn't want to be shown the inevitable. He knew for himself what the most likely reaction of his brother was. He knew and he didn't want to be reminded, because he already hated himself for it and he didn't need to dream of his brother's disapproval and disgust. After all he had piled up enough disgust for the two of them over the years.

In the end it was all so very different.

Fili had just returned from another business trip with their uncle; he had acted unusual, but had blamed it on jetlag and Kili had left it at that, but there was still something off. They went out that weekend, as usual. But unlike other weekends Fili kept to the bar; turning his glass in his hands he kept to himself and didn’t react to the girls trying to flirt with him. He turned them down most politely, but he certainly wasn’t his flirtatious self and when another beauty tried her luck, just to be sent away Kili narrowed his eyes at his brother from where he was dancing. He excused himself and went to sit down next to Fili.

“What’s the matter with you, big brother?” he asked, “It’s not like you to turn down so many girls.”

Fili smiled a bit tired. “It’s nothing. I just don’t feel like it.”

“Oh come on,” Kili shoved playfully at his shoulder, "You have been doing nothing but sit here and stare into your drink. You have to feel like doing _something_."

Fili shrugged, "What if I don't?"

His brother scowled at him. "That doesn't sound like you at all."

"I'm sorry?" Fili offered with another shrug. Kili narrowed his eyes at him, but shrugged, too.

"Well, if you say so," he stole the glass out of Fili's hands and took a sip, "I'm still allowed to worry."

"That you are. But you are also allowed to leave my drink alone." Fili snatched the glass back from him and drank himself.

"You didn't look like you would drink it and it would be a shame to let it go to waste." He took the glass again and had another sip while Fili rolled his eyes at him and contemplated him for a moment before he snatched his hand and pulled him from his chair. "Let's dance."

Dancing was just as unusual as the rest of the evening. Fili seemed a bit absentminded, almost like he was deep in thought while dancing. He didn't seem to notice the looks he got from Kili until, after what could easily have been minutes but had more likely been several tens of seconds, he appeared to have come to a decision. Kili recognised the way his jaw set and the determined look in his eyes. He seemed to be more there after that; seemed to look at Kili and actually see him.

And suddenly they were not far enough away from each other. It was weird, the way Kili felt Fili's gaze on him. Something was different, Kili was hyper-aware of the way Fili looked at him; felt the way his body was moving and the he was aware of Fili moving closer; of being drawn in; of strong hands on his waist, pulling him closer; of _something_ burning in blue eyes as he stared into them; of being mesmerised by whatever this something was; of fascination and a dry mouth, because this wasn't in his dreams but it was _exactly_ what he dreamt of.

He almost stumbled forward; let that weird gravitation pull him in, and tumbled towards the centre of his universe; the one point in his life that he had always used for orientation; the Northern Star of his existence. The moment felt timeless, but as all moments do it had to end at some point and just when Kili was close enough to realise that they both had stopped moving, just when they were close enough for him to see him swallowing, Fili took his hand and pulled him out of the crowd, out of the club and through the warm summer night.

There was no giggling and there was none of the usual intoxication. This intoxication was different; it didn't make him sway or stumble; it made him freeze in his spot and forget all about the concept of time; it made his insides turn into what felt like a million of butterflies, and it gave him a weird feeling of being reassured. He didn't register what was around them; was unaware of anything but Fili. He didn't look where they were going, he only looked at Fili pulling him along and looking back at him every once in a while.

He only became aware of his surroundings again when they stopped at the front door of their apartment building and he almost crashed into Fili's back. It was as if he was suddenly aware of the situation again and he wasn't quite sure if it was good or not. A bit of nervousness gathered in his stomach, a giddy feeling that nagged at his nerves while Fili opened first the main door and then the door to their flat. They hadn't spoken a word since they started their dance and when the door shut behind them and Kili turned to face his brother that was the first moment in which he really felt unsure. He didn't know the meaning behind all of this; had no idea what Fili was up to and couldn't be certain what it would lead to. Brown eyes searched blue ones, asked for answers and didn't quite get them when Fili stepped forward, looking a bit unsure himself. Kili swallowed, itching to say something to end the silence, but not daring to because he feared that it might be the wrong thing to do. Fili studied him for another moment before he made another step and then another until he stood right in front of Kili and had to look up the slightest bit because of the few centimetres of height difference.

Kili's eyes darted from Fili's down to his mouth and back up again, just as Fili's hand cupped his jaw. A thumb ran over the stubble on his cheek and rested in the corner of his mouth for a moment. For a moment they were frozen like this, just standing there, gazing into each other's eyes, Kili leaning the slightest bit into the touch. They just stood there, eyes locked, time forgotten and nothing but the silence of their flat around them. And then Fili leaned forward and closed every bit of distance that was left between them. His hand slid down to Kili's neck to pull him in. Their lips met in a kiss that started out soft, a lingering touch of lips that grew into more when Kili responded. The kiss began sloppy, mouths not quite fitting together, a mess of lips, but they slid together in a perfect fit soon enough. Fili's lips were soft against his, the beard he had grown long enough to be soft and almost tickling Kili's nose. He leaned into it, arms sliding around Fili as if they had always belonged there, the other's hands on his neck, pulling him as close as humanly possible.

Fili tilted his head ever so slightly and coaxed Kili's mouth open, tongue sliding in to meet Kili's, exploring, touching, caressing. Kili's eyes, fixed onto Fili's in fascination and unbelieving bewilderment until then, slid shut as they deepened the kiss. He let himself over to the sensations of his other senses, the smells, the touches, the feelings.

Close like this he could really smell Fili; he could smell the cooled sweat from their dance earlier, the faint hint of smoke that came from standing close to a chain smoker, a hint of alcohol; he could smell Fili's cologne, a heavy musky scent that he remembered getting him for his birthday; and beneath it all he felt like he could smell what he had always associated with home, that scent that had accompanied him through all his life, from his very first memories to this moment. That smell had always meant home, a warm pair of arms to wrap around him when he needed it, blue eyes watching over him, arms to catch him when he fell, love. That scent had always meant love.

And he _felt_. He felt the soft material of Fili's t-shirt, the muscles of his back, mapped the outline of his waist from his ribcage down to his hips and to his behind; he felt Fili's body pressed up against his own, his lips moving, their tongues intertwining, the soft scratch of a beard; and he felt the strong hands that did very much the same with his body. He felt the beating of his heart, quickened and heavy, and a million butterflies in his stomach. He felt his knees go weak as he leaned as much into Fili's touch as was still possible. Everything was Fili at that moment, from the body in his arms to the faint taste of alcohol on his tongue. Kíli sighed and let himself melt into the kiss. Because everything was Fili and it felt _right_.

When they fell asleep that night they were wrapped around each other. Kili had to think back to their childhood and the times when he had been frightened by nightmares and crawled into Fili's bed. Yet it was different, Kili had his head tucked beneath Fili's chin and his nose buried in his t-shirt. He had no dreams that night except of warmth and safety.

When Kili woke up there was something off. He certainly wasn't in his own bed, it smelled wrong and the feeling of the sheets was unfamiliar. He was enveloped in warmth, an arm loosely curled around his body. It took him a moment to remember what had happened the night before, but when it came back to him he startled fully awake and brown eyes met blue ones as Fíli smiled at him.

For a moment, Kíli was stunned. He remembered the kiss they had shared, in every sweet detail, and he remembered that there had been more, shorter pecks on each other's lips, as they had made their way through the flat and, after discarding at least most of their clothes, had crept into Fili's bed to sleep.

And now he was still here and Fili was next to him and, instead of anything Kili might have imagined, Fili smiled at him. Even more, Fili smiled and leaned forward to brush a soft kiss over his lips that Kili only answered too willingly.

"Good morning, love," Fili murmured when he pulled back and Kili smiled in response, surprised but happy.

"Good morning."

For a moment they just lay there, smiling at each other, Fili's hand resting on Kili's waist. It was peaceful and comfortable and Kíli couldn't help but lean forward to kiss Fili again. It was a lazy, tender kind of kiss that made Kili feel giddy with happiness. It was the kind of kiss he wouldn’t have dreamt of waking up to and he enjoyed it thoroughly.

When they broke apart again Fili was still smiling, but there was a different note to it, something Kili couldn’t quite understand even though he had known him all his life. “I’ve dreamt of this,” Fili said finally, eyes closed and forehead leaned against Kili’s.

“You,” Kili had to swallow, “you dreamt of this?”

Fili nodded. “Yes. I dreamt of falling asleep next to you and of kissing you and of waking up next to you and watching you sleeping and…and so many other things.”

Kili looked at him in awe. “You dreamt of…of us?” he asked with wide eyes, before his lips split in a smile and he raised a hand to caress Fili’s cheek.” I did, too, you know? Not of this here, but of us,” he whispered.

“You did?” Fili seemed just as surprised. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I…why…why didn’t you say something?”

“And risk that I lose you?”

“Why would you think you would lose me?”

“Because…because I thought you would be disgusted. I mean…I was so disgusted at myself and… and I thought you would… you would be, too and… I was afraid.” His voice was barely audible by the end of his confession. He cast his eyes down, not daring to look at Fili, who studied him in confusion before he leaned forward and gave him another soft kiss.

“I could never leave you, Kili. Not because of anything you feel.”

“I know,” Kili pressed their foreheads together, “I know.”

“Then no more not telling me about your feelings, okay?” Fili’s voice was soft with a warm undertone that made Kili snuggle up to him.

“Only if you promise the same,” he mumbled into Fili’s shirt. The words provoked a soft chuckle.

“I think I can do that.”

Kili snuggled closer, satisfied with the answer and for a while they were silent; content in each other’s arms and comfortable as they were.

“Why now?” Kili asked suddenly, “Why do this now and not earlier?”

It took Fili a moment to answer and when he did he spoke slowly, as if he wasn’t sure of his words.

“I don’t really know. Maybe it was similar to what you thought. I… I was afraid and I thought it was wrong and… and I didn’t want to destroy the relationship we already had.

“But… but last week, there was that one evening when I went to the hotel bar, because I just missed you so much and… and there was that girl flirting with me and… well, it was pleasant enough and she was actually nice, but… but it felt so wrong. And somehow at that moment I thought that… that it would never feel like that with… with _you_.

“But when I came back I just… couldn’t. I didn’t have the courage. It was… I… I remembered that I really shouldn’t be in love with you and… and that… I just couldn’t do that to you. And then at the club you… well, you did your thing. You acted just like you always did and… I was _jealous_ and…then you came over and you were worried and… I didn’t want you to worry; I wanted you to smile at me… to be happy.

“Everything from then on was…gut instinct, I suppose. I didn’t really think about it, I just...acted and did what I felt I should do.” Fili took a deep breath and waited for Kili’s reaction. The dark-haired had moved a bit away from him to be able to see Fili’s face as he talked and now brown eyes studied the blonde.

“Fillip…” Kili began and Fili tensed; he never used his full first name, not unless he was very angry. But Kili showed no sign of anger, instead he broke into a happy grin. “You said you loved me.”

For a moment Fili was confused, but then he smiled. “Yes, I did, Kilian,” he retorted with a raised eyebrow.

Kili was tempted to roll his eyes, but he stopped himself and pulled Fili into a kiss instead. “I love you, too,” he told him when they parted again, which earned him a wide smile. Fili stole another kiss from his lips and then another, quite content with staying like this for the rest of the day, but Kili stopped him. “What now?” he asked earnestly.

The question was simple enough, yet the answer was so much more complicated. What now? Yes, indeed, how should they proceed? Could they do this? Could they be together against all odds and against everything they had learned in their childhood? Fili had no idea. He knew that he loved Kili; he knew that he would never want to part from him as long as they lived. But he didn’t know if he could stand the things they would have to deal with if it ever came out. And it would  come out, because as cautious as they might try to be, at some point there would be a slip and someone would find out. Whether it would be that someone just put the pieces together or that someone actually saw them didn’t matter, they would be found out and they would have to deal with it.

Fili didn’t actually fear other people’s opinions, not that much. People were people and it was never truly easy to deal with them. What Fili truly feared was that they would judge Kili; that they would take his brother (his lover!) away from him. They would probably put all the blame on him and he would gladly take it, because it was for Kili and for him he would do anything.

Determined he looked into Kili’s eyes. “I will do this if you will. We will be together and try not to be found out and if we are, we will deal with it in some way or another.”

Kili considered the proposal for a moment, before he replied, “And what if I don’t want to hide? What if I want to show the world that I am yours and you are mine?”

“Then we will find a way. If that’s what you want, we will find a way to do it.”

“And what do you want?” Kili asked, consideration in his eyes.

“To be with you, to see you happy, to be by your side and know that it’s where I belong, that’s what I want.” Fili didn’t even have to think about it. If he could see Kili happy he would be happy and wherever Kili was, was his home; nothing else was important.

Kili was silent for a moment, seemingly caught between surprise and thinking something through, but at last he said: “Then let us sort things out here, save up some money, I get my degree, such things, and then we go away; somewhere where no one knows us, somewhere where we can live together and show that we belong together. Let us hide as long as we have to and live openly afterwards. I finish university next year, if we don’t spend too much money until then, maybe if I work part-time while studying, we’ll save up money and go away.”

Fili lay in stunned silence. He hadn’t expected this. He thought of what they would leave behind, their friends, their family, their lives. He thought of their mother’s shock when she would find out that her sons were gone, but only for a brief moment.

“It will break our mother’s heart,” he said finally and Kili nodded.

“It will. But I am willing to be egoistic. She’s strong; she will find a way to cope.”

“Yes, she will. And if she ever finds us she will probably kill us because we made her worry.” Fili smiled fondly and Kili scoffed.

“Only if she can beat Thorin to it. He will be so mad at us.”

This time Fili let out a laugh. “Yes, he will,” he agreed and became serious again; “You really want this?”

Kili nodded.

“Good,” Fili let out a sigh, “then we’ll do it.”

Kili’s happy grin was more than worth it, he thought as he grinned back and pulled him in for a kiss.

 

** Six Years Later **

When Thore Oakenshield approached the house, he was surprised. He hadn’t expected his nephews to live so well. He had been sure that they would make their way in the world and he had told his sister over and over again that they would, but they seemed to have done even better than he had expected. He checked the address again to make sure that he had really found the right house, just as he stopped at the entrance to the front garden and took a look around.

A portly woman who worked in the neighbouring front lawn looked up and smiled at him. “You’re here to see the boys?” Thore considered her for a moment before he nodded. “They are nice guys, really, quite charming, and Fillip’s always so eager to help. And they both have such a talent for working with their hands.” He smiled softly. Yes, that sounded exactly like them. The woman babbled on, “And it’s so nice to see them together. They make such a nice pair, the two of them.” Thore had to supress a scowl. Pair? Just what exactly had his nephews been up to since they left?

“Are they at home?” he asked before she could go on.

“They should be. They usually are at this time,” she smiled and he thanked her before he crossed the few metres to the door and rung the bell.

And then he saw his nephews again for the first time in five years.

It was Fili who opened the door. He looked much like Thore remembered him, blond hair kept rather short, lower part of his face hidden by a full beard, blue eyes that widened in shock as he recognised who was standing in front of him. “Thorin,” was all he got out before Thore stepped forward and embraced him.

“You… you should probably come in,” his nephew said as he stepped back, and Thorin followed him into the large living room. On one side big windows allowed the view out into a nicely kept garden, the room was kept in light colours, mostly white with some blue accents here and there.

“Who is it?” Kili called from the adjoining kitchen, separated from the living room only by a counter and kept in the same colours as far as Thorin could see. He stepped around the corner and answered in Fili’s stead.

“It’s me.”

Kili whipped around at the sound of Thorin’s voice and stared at him with wide eyes. “Th-Thorin?”

When Kili had caught himself and Fili had provided them all with coffee they sat down at the kitchen table, Thorin on one side, his nephews on the other. He noticed that they sat unusually close, almost touching and certainly even closer than they had when had last seen them.

“How did you find us?” Fili asked. He seemed to be much less shocked by his uncle’s appearance than his brother was and was evidently curious about the hows and whys.

“Dwalin helped me,” he replied, “He had already tried to find out where you were off to when you left and I guess he was close to finding you, but I had convinced him to respect your wishes and told him that he would find you easily enough if it was needed. Which he did.”

“Well, we haven’t been entirely subtle,” Fili remarked, shrugging.

“That you haven’t,” Thorin agreed with a nod. “But tell me: What were you up to since you left?”

Fili looked amused. “You can’t tell me Dwalin hasn’t found that out as well.”

This time it was Thorin’s turn to shrug. “Maybe he did. I’d like to hear it from you.”

“Well, we came here, we found ourselves work, friends, settled here when we had enough money. We’re still paying off the credit for the house but all in all we’re happy with what we have.”

They were silent after Fili’s brief summary. Thorin wasn’t surprised. Dwalin had found out a lot, but he hadn’t wanted to read any of it. Instead, he had told his friend that the address was enough for now. If he wanted to pry further he could still do it later, after he talked to them. He almost didn’t catch how Fili’s eyes flicked to Kili at the end of his statement and he was close to scowling again. There was more to it and he wasn’t entirely sure if he would like it.

“How is mum?” Kili asked, finally breaking the silence.

“She’s fine. She doesn’t know I’m here or she would have insisted on accompanying me. It was hard for her, in the beginning, but I have done my best to console her and eventually she agreed that you two would manage and if you wanted to return you knew where we are. But she misses you. She does her best not to show it, but she misses you.”

Kili and Fili exchanged a look and they did at least have the decency to look guilty.

“We knew it would hurt her,” Kili said, “We knew it would most likely break her heart, but we had to leave.”

“Why?”

They exchanged another look and maybe Kili shifted the slightest bit so he was even closer to Fili, who was the one to answer their uncle’s question.

“Because sometimes you have to hurt someone dear to you to be truly happy.”

“We couldn’t have stayed, as much as we would have liked to. The choice was to be egoistic or unhappy,” added Kili.

“How long did you plan it?”

“A year before we left. Maybe a bit more,” Fili said with a shrug.

“You really thought it through, didn’t you?” Thorin raised an eyebrow and Fili and Kili nodded. He pondered that. He still didn't quite understand their reasons, but at least it seemed that they hadn’t just headed off without thinking about it.

"So, why are you here?" Fili wanted to know after a moment of silence, "Or do we owe this visit to a spur of the moment feeling of wanting to see you nephews again?"

"I wish it was that," Thorin sighed, "I actually wanted to ask for your help."

"Our help?" Kili asked and exchanged a puzzled look with his brother.

Thorin nodded. "Yes. In the years since your departure things have not been entirely easy for the company. We've felt the economic crisis, too; especially some of our branches that had a lot of dealings abroad. The thing is that on top of that we've had some other problems that I'm not entirely sure occurred by chance. We need to rebuild the company, or rather reform it a great deal, and... since you are still the ones who will inherit it one day, I want you to have a part in that."

"So... you want us to return and work with you," Fili summarised with a look to his brother, "We'll... we'll have to think about it. We didn't exactly plan to come back and... we have built a life here."

"It's not like we don't want to, family is still family, it's more like we decided to break with what we had and have a fresh start, and going back now might not be the best choice."

Thorin nodded. "Think about it. You don't have to decide now, but consider it at least."

Their conversation moved on to other topics, more details about the years that had passed, anecdotes and little stories, and the brothers invited their uncle to stay for dinner and do a bit more catching up. Thorin accepted the offer gladly; they hadn't seen each other in a long time and when he returned he wanted to be able to tell their mother about how they fared.

It wasn't until after dinner that Thorin understood why they had left. He had excused himself to go to the bathroom and had hesitated at the living room door when he heard them talking.

"-we would have to return one day," Fili said.

"Yes, we did. But...not so soon. I still feel like we have just settled here."

"I know, but we don't really have an influence on this, have we?"

A sigh. "Yes. It's just...going back wouldn't just mean to return to our family. We had a reason for leaving and that's still in place."

"I know, love, I know. And I dislike it as much as you do, but we could at least go and see what we can do, and then we return. We don't need to go back forever, this here is ours, no one can force us to give it away."

"I don't like having to hide."

"And neither do I. But we did it before and we can do it again."

Thorin was puzzled. What did his nephews have to hide? He chose that moment to step through the door and around the corner into the kitchen, prepared to ask them, just to find his nephews pressed up against each other, Kili's head bend down, his lips just parting from Fili's and murmuring, "That doesn't mean I have to like it."

Thorin cleared his throat, startling the two. He noticed that they immediately stepped away from each other but wouldn't let go of their hands, and he thought that he was a fool for not having seen this coming. They had always been close, and if he was honest with himself he should have expected something like this.

"This is why you left," he observed and Fili nodded, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised." He sighed. "Listen, I don't expect you to give me an answer now. Think about it and then make a decision. I won't expect you to say yes, or to stay when the business is finished, but it would be nice to have you with me in this." He took a card out of his pocket and scribbled his number on it. "I'll be in town for a few days, just call me when you have decided what you will do." He put the card down on the kitchen table. "If you don't want me to I will tell no one what I know of your whereabouts. Just know that we are still your family."

And with that Thorin left his nephews' house and headed back to his hotel.

When he was gone Kili looked at Fili, blinking and said, "Well, that went...not as expected."

Fili nodded, staring into the distance, thinking. "You know," he said slowly, eyes moving back to Kili, "he's right. They are still our family."

"You're saying we should help him."

Fili nodded. "Yes, I think we should."

"But what do we tell the others? Balin and Dwalin will surely be there and I bet he has also asked Oin and Gloin. And how do we explain things to mum?"

"We'll tell them that we had our reasons. That has to be enough. And about mum... I don't know. I guess no one would understand if we didn't go to see her, but..."

"We can still think about what to do about her when we're there," Kili proposed as he pulled him into his arms.

Fili leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"So you're okay with it?"

"You are right. We should help our family and...we can come back here afterwards."

Fili nodded and gave him another kiss before he disentangled himself from Kili's embrace. "I'll call Thorin then."

Thorin had just stepped into the hotel lobby when his mobile rang. He pulled the device out of his pocket and answered.

"Oakenshield." He knew that he sounded gruff, but he couldn't help it and he couldn't care less at that moment.

"It's Fili. I'm just calling to say: We'll help you."


End file.
